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Local Specialist Aids Hearing of Gallatin Mom

Deciding what happens to a loved one when they can no longer care for themselves should be a family affair, according to Joe Dughman, an eldercare advocate and Nashville attorney.

“Talking about a loved one's future in an assisted living facility or a nursing home is not a conversation most families eagerly anticipate,” says Dughman. “However, planning and preparation – and coming to a family consensus about certain decisions – can turn a big step into a less stressful transition.”

“When families are spread out all over the country, it's very difficult to manage a parent's long-term care long distance,” Dughman says. “If your family has a parent who is currently in a nursing home, or is close to being moved into a long-term care facility, plan a family meeting to talk about this sensitive issue.”

“And if you can't get together at the family dinner table to talk, then arrange for a conference call or set up a family chat room on the Internet,” Dughman suggests.

Topics that should be brought to the table include:

•  Exploring care options in the community
•  Calculating a budget
•  Researching and understanding insurance coverage
•  Devising a timetable and determining a plan of action for gentle relocation of your loved one
•  Assigning areas of responsibility to each family member – everything from handling insurance paperwork and planning an estate sale to divvying up visitation times and following up with doctors

“Families need to commit to educating themselves about choosing a safe nursing home,” Dughman says. “They need to start by asking questions and then researching answers and options, especially when it comes to choosing a long term care facility and knowing the legal rights of the patient, as well as the family.”

“In addition, although it is a worse case scenario, families need to learn the red flags – signs that their loved one is not getting the care they pay to insure,” Dughman says. “For instance, many families are under the impression that bedsores just come with the territory when a family member is confined to a bed, but that's not always the case.”

“In fact, bedsores, as well as unexplained injuries, frequent falls, and unsupervised wandering can be indicators that the facility isn't doing it's job – and that family members need to act as advocates for their loved one.” But, first,” says Dughman, “you've got to do your homework.”

“Looking out for an aging parent should be a shared family responsibility, Everybody's got to do their part to make sure their loved one is getting the care they deserve.”

“Don't make the mistake of putting your parent in a nursing home and assuming somebody else is dotting ‘i's' and crossing ‘t's,' Dughman advised. “If a family doesn't advocate for a loved one, who will?”

Dughman recommends visiting the Web site of NCCNHR – National Citizen's Coalition for Nursing Home Reform – www.nursinghomeaction.org . Not only does NCCNHR have several educational publications available, but they can also provide information useful in evaluating a nursing home and helpful in determining if nursing home abuse or neglect has occurred.\

Dughman, a member of NCCNHR, is also distributing information on choosing a good nursing home, understanding patient rights, and recognizing the warning signs of abuse and neglect. Those interested in receiving information from Dughman should contact his office in the AmSouth Building , 315 Deaderick Street, Suite 1550 , Nashville , Tennessee 37238-0112 . His Eldercare Hotline phone number is 1-888-JOE- 4 YOU and he can also be reached by email at Joe@joedughman.com .

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